Week 10 EOC: Lawyer Jokes

Replacing lab rats with lawyers

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

http://www.ahajokes.com/law019.html





Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html



 
The Blonde and the Lawyer
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.

The blonde says,"Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

And you thought blondes were dumb.

http://www.jokesaboutlawyers.com/lawyer_joke_nine.html



People Drowning
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Lawyer.htm






What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?

They grow taller!

http://www.101funjokes.com/lawyer_jokes.htm 

Week 9 EOC: Letters of Permission

To finish all four of my letters of permission I had to do quite some research on the web. For starters, I had to look up how to get permission for different things several times and find addresses and useful information in order to make it look professional and legitimate. The first letter of permission I typed was one for master photographer Peter Lik in order to use his photography in a presentation on the world's best nature photography - and you can't have one of those without Peter Lik being in it. After asking for permission in the body paragraph, I added my contact information, ending it by thanking him for his time and consideration and adding my full name; I also did this for the rest of my letters of permission. For the 2nd one, I wrote a letter to Mr. Joshua Hoffine, my favorite horror photographer. I asked for permission to use his "fantastic, yet chilling" photography in a made up Halloween gallery at First Friday. After asking for permission I listed the name of the photographs I planned on displaying at the gallery so he would know how many, and which photographs would be used. The 3rd one was for a made up interview with Adam Young. I wrote a letter to him thanking and praising him for letting me shoot and interview him for AP magazine, before kindly asking him to sign a few forms I found on the web that would legally allow me to publish the interview. For the last letter of permission, I wrote a letter to the Fueled By Ramen record label asking for permission to use a song by one of their bands at my own gallery with a photograph inspired by the song so that my guests, and myself would have a more meaningful experience.

Week 8 EOC: Bratz Brawl

Mattel sued MGA Entertainment, saying MGA's Bratz dolls were property of Mattel since Carter Bryant was working for Mattel when he made the Bratz dolls:

"in 2008, a jury concluded that Barbie doll clothing designer Carter Bryant was under contract to Mattel when he came up with the initial design for the Bratz dolls. The jury awarded Mattel $100 million, and the trial judge ruled that the Bratz franchise was the property of Mattel."

 After a few years the case was taken to court again:

"But this past July, the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, in a unanimous decision, threw out the district court's injunction that had turned the dolls over to Mattel. In its decision, the Ninth Circuit said it was unfair to give Mattel the Bratz line, because its value was "overwhelmingly" created by MGA. In addition, the court said that in any new trial the district court should address whether Mattel owned Mr. Bryant's ideas under his contract. The district court vacated the jury's monetary award in October and agreed to rehear the case."

I feel like that was the fair thing to do. MGA Entertainment and Mr. Bryant didn't do anything wrong by starting their own doll company, which didn't look like Barbies at all. I personally believe Mattel was mad that the Bratz dolls  had so much success. After all,

"The Bratz dolls... at the height of their popularity grossed $1 billion in revenue for closely held MGA. The glitzy Bratz girls were also the first serious challengers to Barbie., whose sales began to soften as the Bratz dolls' popularity increased."

I understand Mattel was sending a message that they do not tolerate "unlawful conduct", but Carter Bryant didn't do anything wrong when he, in his own free time, made the Bratz dolls.