Week 10 EOC: Lawyer Jokes

Replacing lab rats with lawyers

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

http://www.ahajokes.com/law019.html





Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html



 
The Blonde and the Lawyer
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.

The blonde says,"Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

And you thought blondes were dumb.

http://www.jokesaboutlawyers.com/lawyer_joke_nine.html



People Drowning
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Lawyer.htm






What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?

They grow taller!

http://www.101funjokes.com/lawyer_jokes.htm 

Week 9 EOC: Letters of Permission

To finish all four of my letters of permission I had to do quite some research on the web. For starters, I had to look up how to get permission for different things several times and find addresses and useful information in order to make it look professional and legitimate. The first letter of permission I typed was one for master photographer Peter Lik in order to use his photography in a presentation on the world's best nature photography - and you can't have one of those without Peter Lik being in it. After asking for permission in the body paragraph, I added my contact information, ending it by thanking him for his time and consideration and adding my full name; I also did this for the rest of my letters of permission. For the 2nd one, I wrote a letter to Mr. Joshua Hoffine, my favorite horror photographer. I asked for permission to use his "fantastic, yet chilling" photography in a made up Halloween gallery at First Friday. After asking for permission I listed the name of the photographs I planned on displaying at the gallery so he would know how many, and which photographs would be used. The 3rd one was for a made up interview with Adam Young. I wrote a letter to him thanking and praising him for letting me shoot and interview him for AP magazine, before kindly asking him to sign a few forms I found on the web that would legally allow me to publish the interview. For the last letter of permission, I wrote a letter to the Fueled By Ramen record label asking for permission to use a song by one of their bands at my own gallery with a photograph inspired by the song so that my guests, and myself would have a more meaningful experience.

Week 8 EOC: Bratz Brawl

Mattel sued MGA Entertainment, saying MGA's Bratz dolls were property of Mattel since Carter Bryant was working for Mattel when he made the Bratz dolls:

"in 2008, a jury concluded that Barbie doll clothing designer Carter Bryant was under contract to Mattel when he came up with the initial design for the Bratz dolls. The jury awarded Mattel $100 million, and the trial judge ruled that the Bratz franchise was the property of Mattel."

 After a few years the case was taken to court again:

"But this past July, the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, in a unanimous decision, threw out the district court's injunction that had turned the dolls over to Mattel. In its decision, the Ninth Circuit said it was unfair to give Mattel the Bratz line, because its value was "overwhelmingly" created by MGA. In addition, the court said that in any new trial the district court should address whether Mattel owned Mr. Bryant's ideas under his contract. The district court vacated the jury's monetary award in October and agreed to rehear the case."

I feel like that was the fair thing to do. MGA Entertainment and Mr. Bryant didn't do anything wrong by starting their own doll company, which didn't look like Barbies at all. I personally believe Mattel was mad that the Bratz dolls  had so much success. After all,

"The Bratz dolls... at the height of their popularity grossed $1 billion in revenue for closely held MGA. The glitzy Bratz girls were also the first serious challengers to Barbie., whose sales began to soften as the Bratz dolls' popularity increased."

I understand Mattel was sending a message that they do not tolerate "unlawful conduct", but Carter Bryant didn't do anything wrong when he, in his own free time, made the Bratz dolls.

Week 8 BOC: Progress in getting a lawyer

What I've done so far to find  a lawyer for my final project in  my Contracts, Negotiations and Copyright course is ask people close to me if they know any lawyers who would be willing to have an interview with a student who needs advice on intellectual property. My mother knows someone who is studying the law, and is working for an attorney, but I don't feel like that really meets the qualifications for what I'm being asked to do, so I've decided I will work on my questions and make sure they're the best I can ask before calling the law firm that caught my attention the most after looking through various law firms and lawyers last week. The law firm is called Reynolds and Associates, and an old friend used to work for them and is related to them, so I have a good feeling that they are very kind and would be willing to help a student with legal advice. And if that doesn't work out, I will call the other lawyers and see if any of them are kind enough to help me. After I'm done with my interview I will start working on the rest of the project, for I want to finish it as soon as possible so I won't have to stress out too much during finals.

Week 7 EOC

I will admit hearing about the final project for Contracts, Negotiations and Copyrights gave me a lot to think about, but I feel that if I plan the assignment well, it can help me succeed and get the grade I want. What I plan on doing is first asking my close family if they know any lawyers to see if I have a great opportunity in which not only I can do my assignment, but also do it more comfortably knowing the lawyer I'm interviewing is also a friend of my family. But if that doesn't work, I don't have to worry too much for I have already made a local lawyers that may be able to help me, and a kind class mate directed me to a website where I could find more. When I was looking through Lawyers.com I made sure to get the names of lawyers who aren't very "big" and probably not as busy as others. I like to call them "indie lawyers". They would most likely appreciate the attention and would gladly help me out. Before I make the calls, I will create a list of professional questions to ask the lawyer in order to get very informative answers that can help me in the future. These questions will obviously focus more on situations that may happen throughout my photography career so that if something does happen, I will know what to do; I will be prepared.

Week 6 EOC

When I watched the 2008 documentary Illicit: The Dark Trade by National Geographic, I saw many things that I didn't know about. I already knew about piracy -illegally downloading songs, movies, etc. - and I knew about fake purses and glasses, specially after I saw a huge market selling that stuff in Los Angeles, but I didn't know much about the other things pirates do like make fake money, and I didn't know that the fake products they sell were sold so much all around the world. It's an interesting, informative, documentary but it also gives off the feeling of fear. It gives the viewer a message: don't pirate or we can come get you. But then again, I shouldn't really worry about that because I myself don't like to buy fakes. I don't like the feeling of owning a fake product, even if it's cheaper. I want to have the real thing. I want to know the product I paid for works. And for things like fake glasses, which I rarely wear, I just don't want a fake pair. I have downloaded music from the internet, or YouTube to MP3 converters, but I also care about the artists I listen to and I support the by buying their CDs, and going to see them live. I love buying CDs as a matter of fact. I love having the physical album with me, and being able to open the booklets inside, or putting the album on my wall as art. I love collecting albums. I also enjoy going to concerts - a lot. Going to concerts is a hobby to me, a hobby which I do very often. Not only am I having a great time surrounded by fans, but I'm also showing the artist(s) that I support him, her, or them.

Week 5 EOC: Patent Trolls

­In 2010 a man named Raymond E. Stauffer went shopping at a Brooks Brothers store at a New Jersey mall, probably unaware that he would be the start of something important. Being a patent lawyer, Mr. Stauffer noticed that the bow ties at the Brooks Brothers store were labeled with old patent numbers. According to the Wall Street Journal report, "He sued Brooks Brothers Inc. in federal court, claiming it broke the law by marking its adjustable bow ties with patents that expired in the 1950s." This was a very smart thing for him to do. Not only is he making things right, he's also making some dough by doing it. A Justice Department spokesman agrees: "We do think that these suits have directed industry attention to the need to adopt procedures to assure that patent markings are accurate and to remove the numbers of expired patents from products," says Charles Miller, a Justice Department spokesman. "This should result in more accurate information on products and their packaging, which would be beneficial to consumers." So while it's great that Stauffer made money from this, it's even better that he's also helping people by scaring companies into checking their products for expired patents. Numerous attorneys who represent manufacturers of consumer products said that "They are checking the status of patents and scrambling to review the product lines on shelves to be sure labeling is up-to-date. And they are contacting suppliers to make sure their patents are valid." Some of the companies that have gotten in trouble with expired patents include: Procter & Gamble, Bayer Healthcare LLC, Cisco Systems, Scientific-Atlanta, Merck & Co., Pfizer Inc., 3M Co., DirecTV, and Medtronic Inc. With big names like these it's no wonder why other companies became worried. I'm sure that because of this event, companies are a lot more conscious now and make sure their patents are all good.


Quotes and info from: http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7041074526395473149#editor/target=post;postID=6884052116167269648